Wisdom and encouragement from the world of spam

I pay a small fee to a company called Akismet to screen and block spam comments that come into this blog. Normally, I get one or two a day, but I was surprised when I opened my blog posting tools to see that I had accumulated 18 spam messages during the past few days.

These spammers apparently believe I’ll let any old thing post as a comment, and then they’ll get links back to their site to sell stuff and to move up their listings in Google and other search engines. That’s not going to happen, of course. I googled a few of these, though, and saw that spammers have good success in getting their work posted.

Usually, I don’t even read these comments, but the heavier volume made me curious, so I pored over them today. I’d thought I’d share a few with you. They’re bad but sometimes funny in a “brainless idiot must have written this” kind of way. I’ll print some below, typos and all, with some off-the-cuff reactions:

  • It’s about time soomene wrote about this. (Thanks. I’m sure whatever it was, I’m the first person on the planet to take it on.)
  • I told my garndomther how you helped. She said, “bake them a cake!” (Make it lemon, OK? I don’t get enough lemon cake in my diet.)
  • Knocked my socks off with konlwedge! (Beat my brains in with flattery.)
  • This has made my day. I wish all potsnigs were this good. (I was proud of the potsnig. Thanks.)
  • At last, someone comes up with the “right” ansewr! (Glad I avoided the “wrong” ansewr?)
  • I went to tons of links before this, what was I tikhnnig? (Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t, “Gee, maybe I should try Google!”)
  • Stands back from the kyebaord in amazement! Thanks! (Standing back from my srceen in humility. Thanks!)
  • And to think I was going to talk to smeoone in person about this. (Glad I could spare you the hassle of actually interacting with another hmuan being.)
  • Stellar work there everyone. I’ll keep on reandig. (We all thank you, and we’ll keep on wirting.)
  • Wow I must ceofnss you make some very trenchant points. (I must ceofnss I had to look up the word “trenchant.”)
  • If my problem was a Death Star, this article is a pohotn torpedo. (If my problem was athlete’s foot, your note was tough-actin’ Tinactin.)

Quality comments are always welcome, of course. Send one along if you have a second to spare!

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